arei.net - personal
Annual Snow Rant

It’s time once again for my annual snow rant in which I tell you how irresponsible you are being by not cleaning the snow off your car. So here goes.

It is your responsibility to clean the snow off your car in its entirety, including the roof. If you cannot accept this responsibility, you should not be allowed to drive. It’s that simple.

Not cleaning the snow off you car causes others driving around you to have limited visibility and can even lead to complete loss of sight while driving if a large chunk blows off your car. This leads to panic, accidents and even fatalities. By not cleaning your car completely of snow you are actively participating in trying to hurt other people.

Now, I know we live in a world where people think everything outside of their car doesn’t exist. It as if inside of the car is a completely seperate world from outside of it. But the reality is that you share this world and the road with other people and you have a moral responsibility to help them be safe.

So there it is. Clean the snow off your car, including the roof. If you are too lazy, then please just stay home. Your job, shopping, or social activity just isn’t that important and the world will keep on turning without you.

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The 2.8% Raise

So, I’m due to have yet another annual review this week. If you read my earlier post “Deciphering What your Annual Review Means” you might recall I’m not really that excited by annual reviews or their results.

But, in preparation today I went out and did a little math. According to the Consumer Price Index (CPI-U) which measures how much things costs for the average person, the costs of things has increased an average 2.8% every year for the last 10 years. That means, any merit increase I see that is less than 2.8% means I’m losing money. And a raise of 3% means I’ll see .2% more money a paycheck! Hold me back I’m going on a spending spree. (That was sarcasm in case you missed it.)

Honestly, I expect 4% though and I’ll have to start lining up some interviews after the holidays.

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Funky Techno Groove Beat

I laid down some funky techno grooves. Check it: http://inudge.net/inudge#/ft8r

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Stripes 2

I had a dream last night that I was writing the script for the sequel to the movie stripes. When I woke up this morning from the dream I spent all morning thinking about doing just that. I finally stopped thinking about when I realized that I don’t think Bill Murray is probably too old to pull off an impression of Dean Martin joining the army.

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Deciphering What You Annual Review Raise Means

Recently my boss came to me and told me that my annual review was coming due.  I’m not sure if he was telling me this to warn me to get off my ass and be productive, or if he was giving me a heads up that I might want to start looking for a new job. The fact that his message was unclear got me thinking though; what exactly do I expect from an annual review?

From an employee prospective the annual review is about one thing: big fat raise. Employers can push their “growth plans” and “360 reviews” all they want, but for the actual employee it simply comes down to how much more money they are going to see in their paycheck.  Honestly, every time you have ever been given a raise, what’s the first thing you do? You check out how much more per paycheck that means to you.

But getting past the 37$ more a week thing, what does the percentage raise your boss just told you really mean to you?  And what does it mean in perspective of your bigger picture?  Is it a worthwhile number? Does it merit staying with the company another year?  Or is it more profitable to your bottom line to go elsewhere?

These are the questions your employer really does not want you thinking about.  Yet, employers run their companies as a business.  They are in it to make money.  So they should not be surprised when an employee runs their own life in the same way.  You are in it for the money and it is money that talks.

So, in light of my own upcoming performance review, I decided to write down a scale of exactly what my feelings should be toward my company depending upon the percentage my boss tells me at the end of my performance review.  The idea being, that I don’t have to rush back to my desk and figure out how much more per paycheck I’m going to get.  Instead, I want to hear a number and instantly know if I’m being insulted or congratulated.

Now, before you go read the charts I want to tell you to please remember to take this with a grain of salt.  Employee/Employer relationships are complex things, and you should be mindful of that.  You also need to be mindful of your own situation, the availability of jobs in your industry, how valuable you are in the work place, blah blah blah.  All I’m saying is to think before you leap.

Also, this is just about an increase to your salary here.  Things like bonuses and stock options do not count because they are a one-time payout.  If you boss gives you those, that is a nice thing to do and all, but a merit increase is about sustained growth not a one time bump.  If your boss does this kind of tactic, just ignore the bump factor and focus on the growth factor.  The bump is a nice way to say thanks, but it’s the raise that counts.


0% This company is actually the worse off because you are an employee here.  Get the hell out.
Getting 0% as your annual review is basically tantamount to being fired, regardless of the reason.  A company will tell you “we had a poor first quarter this year and that hurt everyone’s raises.”  But what you really should be hearing is “Get the hell out.”  The company is basically telling you that regardless of your performance they do not want you to stick around.  If they cannot even muster a token increase, the company is doomed to failure.


1% We basically gave you a raise because we have to but nobody here likes you or wants you to stay.
The 1% raise is the token insult raise; a little something because they must, but honestly they’d just rather give you nothing. If you were a minimum wage worker your company basically just told you that they think you’re worth only 6 more cents an hour. If you made the median household income in the United States as of 2005, this would roughly translate to $8.91 more a week. I recommend you spend that money on resume paper and go find a new job.


2% We’d really prefer it if you just saved us all a lot of trouble and stayed at home sitting on your sofa.
This raise translates to $17.81 more a pay check. Unfortunately that won’t even cover the cost of the gasoline you use to get to work every week. A company might give you this in hopes of motivating you to “excel” or “exceed”. I recommend that you take the hint and “Exit.” In fact, if your manager/boss person tells you that 2% is your raise this year, there’s no reason for you to stay another minute. You can probably make more money selling magazines out of a van.


3% We have decided to shower you with our greatness and you should be thankful for it!
Alright, this is the defacto raise that companies usually use for a base. Someone once told them that that was the “annual cost of living” increase. I’m sorry to tell them this, but last year the cost of a loaf of bread climbed 8%. That means it’s roughly 8% more expensive to eat this year than it was last year. Worse yet, companies make this seem like they’re doing you a wonderful favor. A favor would be if you could afford to eat more than a damn loaf of bread.


4% You don’t deserve a brand new Porsche, but the people who own your sorry ass do.
Since 3% is the defacto raise, 4% is usually reserved for the companies that want to give out 3% but they know you did a kick ass job. In a company of 100 employees that made $1,000,000 in profit last year, a 4% raise for everyone in the company means that the company spent 18% of it’s $1,000,000 in profit on raises (assuming everyone makes the national median wage). To us, this doesn’t exactly say “Keep up the good work.” Instead it says, “Keep up the good work, you’re making us rich and we don’t like to share!”


5% We respect and value your lazy ass, but if you try harder we’d reward you better.
This is what I would call the bare minimum of fair raises. This says, you’re doing an adequate job and we see potential for improvement. Keep striving to be a better employee and next year there could be a more than 5%. This is usually the lowest raise at which I wouldn’t suggest looking for a new job right away. But I’d temper that by telling you that you could probably get more money by changing jobs.


6% You’re doing a decent job but we’re a little too cheap to really show you we appreciate you.
A company that shells out 6% is one that actually values you as an employee. They know you’re doing a good job and they want to keep you around. Unfortunately, someone in the management chain is cheap so the 6% raise is usually reserved for the one “rockstar” employee. I would argue that 6% is a token show better than 5% which every employee ought to have gotten, so it’s really not “rockstar” ready. You might want to take a look around the company and see how many 6% raises they gave out. If you’re it, than the company might just be a little too cheap for your dream of buying beach front property in Jamacia.


7% Way to go! Keep up the good work and someday we’ll promote you into management.
Finally we’re getting into the category of raises that say the right thing. These raises tell an employee that they did a good job and by golly you want them to stick around. Unfortunately, for companies these days most employees can get 10% just by changing jobs. If you got one of these raises, it’s time to weigh that extra 3% you could get from changing jobs against your apathy of looking for a new job. If the job conditions are good, a 3% jump and the risk of changing jobs might not be worth it.


8% We think you’re the best thing since sliced bread and we’re willing to do what it takes to keep you.
Remember back in the 3% raise we talked about sliced bread? Up 8% from last year? Well, with an 8% raise you are keeping abreast of being able to feed your family of four and your dog and a picket fence. The good news is that your employer really values you. The bad news is if you are only breaking even on feeding your family, you’re lifestyle is pretty much stuck in a rut. Keep your eyes open for golden opportunities, but you really have it pretty good.


9% You’re doing an excellent job and are exactly the type of person we want to keep working here.
Obviously someone at you company thinks your hot stuff and went the extra mile for you. It’s probably your boss and we assume if you got this raise you have an awesome boss. Awesome bosses are extraordinarily hard to find, so before you even think of jumping ship, take stock of what you have. It’s probably a pretty good thing.


10%
and up
You rule! We love you! Please, please, please do us the honor of working for us another year.
Honestly, if you get 10% or more, then your company absolutely rocks and you shouldn’t even consider thinking about changing jobs. 10% means the company recognizes your contributions, it believes in you as a long term employee, and it is willing to do what it takes to make sure you stay on board. And even more importantly, the company wants to reward your contributions to its success by helping you to your own successes. You simply cannot beat that.


So there you have it.  My quick and dirty field guide for determining if you are being insulted or rewarded.  It is my hope that you will take this out into the world, share it with your friends and co-workers, give it to your boss and her boss, and use it as a reference guide during your annual review.  You should even use it as a reference point when it comes time to fight for a better merit increase.

My advice to you is, hope for 10%, but be ready for 3%.  And then, be prepared to do what you must to better YOUR situation.

“Deciphering What Your Annual Review Raise Means” is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License which you can learn about at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/ and you can read at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/legalcode. The original author is Glen R. Goodwin and can be found at http://www.arei.net.  You can find additional copies of this document at http://www.arei.net/stuff/AnnualReview.doc.

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Resume Updated

My Resume was updated as part of my bi-annual housekeeping.

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Twelfth Night, Spring Awakenings and Glenztravaganza

Every year in July Jennifer holds the annual Glenztravaganza, an event of unspecified link celebrating my old age.  This year she out did herself with not one trip to the theatre, but two wonderful trips.

Friday night we headed up to Ellicott City’s Patapsco Female Institute to see the Chesapeake Shakespeare Company’s production of Twelfth Night.  I’m one of those rare huge Shakespeare fans out there and Twelfth Night is one of the plays I have never seen nor read before.  We had never been to PFI or a CSC production before, so it was a complete shot in the dark for us.  Jennifer made a nice picnic lunch and we got there early to eat and attend an informal lecture.

The informal lecture was fine, the instructor very passionate and intelligent on the subject, but somewhat focused on the basics.  I had hoped it might talk a little more about understanding Shakespeare as Jennifer often has a great deal of difficulty with that and getting her more comfortable with it will mean more play attendances for Glen.  I don’t suffer from that because I know that just about every Shakespeare writes is meant pornographically.

The production of Twelfth Night itself was excellent.  Both Jennifer and I enjoyed it and we both were very taken with the woman playing Viola.  We both independently felt that she really captured the role and was an exceptional actress.  We came away from the entire evening wanting to see a lot more from this company and planning our next visit for Julius Caesar.

The very next day Jennifer whisked me away to DC for a showing of Spring Awakening at the Kennedy Center.  This was a good production with lots of energy and a good show, but we just weren’t crazy about it.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a fine show, a very good cast and an excellent production.  Just the story, the music, none of it grabbed us the way some other shows have grabbed us.  I like to judge my musicals by how much I feel like I need to buy the music when I get out of the show.  I didn’t have any urge to rush out and buy the CD when we left.  I do remember Duncan Shiek as a a perform from back in the 90’s and a lot of the music definitely had a familiar ring to it.  It was good, just not amazing, which I seem to have come to expect from my musicals.  I loved Avenue Q immediately, for example.

After Spring Awakening we went to the District Chop House and Brewery for dinner, it being my Brithday and all I got to pick.  I was in the mood for a good steak.

We spent sunday relaxing by the pool, watching movies, playing games, and just generally being really low key.  I’m a lazy person at heart, so relaxing is always a good thing in my book.

All in all, an amazing Glenztravaganza weekend.

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Beer

Since moving to Maryland from Northern Virgina I have had two problems:

1). Finding good restaurants, and

2). Find a good beer store.

Jennifer and I are slowly trying out some of the lesser known restaurants and mostly avoid the chain places.  Back in NoVA we had found a bunch of places we really, really liked.  I guess this sort of this just takes time.  So far we’ve found one place we absolutely love, Victoria’s Gastro Pub, and we’re looking for some more.  I enjoyed Coal Fire Pizza which is new in Ellicott City/Columbia, but Jennifer has yet to try it as we don’t eat much pizza.  Also, from the BaltimoreBeerGuy’s site (discussed below) I found a Howard County food blogger, so I’m totally going to start reading that as well.

On the beer front, I have been very unsuccessful.  Everyone says go to Cooridor, but I was largely disappointed.  A buddy said to check out a place in Clarksville, but I found it the same as every other liquor store.  However, I have a hot lead… And while searching for the address to this lead, I came across a fellow beer fan’s site which I really enjoyed… and he also thought it a good place.  So I’m off to check it out and maybe get a few decent beers I’ve never tried before.

Wish me luck!

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Staying Busy

Jennifer and I had a nice Fourth of July weekend.  We went to the pool, relaxed, took naps and fired up the grill pretty much non-stop.  Grilling is fun.

We did go down to the Columbia MD fireworks for a little while, long enough to see that it was a complete zoo.  We parked over a the mall for a strategic quick exit and then walked to the lakefront.  By the time we had got to the lake front we knew we’d be better of watching from the mall parking lot.  The crowds were enormous even walking through them was almost impossible.  A police or medical emergency in that crowd would have been devastating.  And a panic there, and people would seriously have died.  It was amazingly poorly managed from a crowd control perspective and the authorities in charge should be ashamed.

All that said, the fireworks themselves were nice and our quick escape route worked well getting us well out in front of the crowds.

Next year we’ll go try laurel or maybe somewhere a little more rural in hopes of less crowds and more well thought out crowd control.

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Lost Cone Recovered

I know you’ll be excited as I am to find out that the lost cone has been recovered.

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